Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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