I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
