glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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