why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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