I think I won the penis lottery.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize