i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
