all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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