do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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