This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
