i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
