don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
