i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.