i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse