My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.