I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
only you would photoshop your dick
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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