you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
