she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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