it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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