3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize