please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize