You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.