jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots