They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!