I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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