oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
