you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day