i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.