Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?