i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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