he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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