I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
