Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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