she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
