coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
