I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize