Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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