I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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