I think my fart just growled at me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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