The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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