it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.