Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
