come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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