I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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