That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that