capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks