phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Everything about him screamed your future.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore