Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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