You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
