new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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