I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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