u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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