I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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