just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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