Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize