I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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