Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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