No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
