"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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